Thursday, September 15, 2011

MAXED OUT: Late Night

So what do the Cosby Show, chocolate stouts and terry cloth all have in common? You're about to find out.

How do you do my people? It’s late and I’m tired so I’m here to give
you a brief description of a good late night beer after a long hard
day of drinking and/or working. If my eye lids allow me to, that is.

So what does one drink after a long night of partying or working? I
have a great idea! A BEER! Some peoples out there like to indulge
with a nice glass of wine. Others with a chilled glass of scotch. I
say phewey! Do yourself a favor and go for the good stuff. Beer is
the way to go right before bedtime.

Reason numero uno that beer is the right decision: lower alcohol
content. Let’s not get all hammered right before bedie-boo. I’m not
really looking to get crunked, but sometimes I just need something to
ease the nerves before I lay my head down to sleep, ya know? A glass
of scotch and I don’t even get to “Call me Ismael.” Just sayin’.

Numero dos is the flavor. Have you ever had a nice glass of Cab
right after brushing your teeth? It tastes like the underside of cow
dung. And trust me, that ain’t good. But have you ever had a nice
chocolate stout after the brushing of one’s teeth? Delicious? Yes.
Nutritious? Sure, why not.

So what beer should you have late at night? Like I previously
stated, gimme a stout. Gimme a porter. Gimme a Maui Coconut Porter
and I’m a happy camper. I can feel good about brushing my teeth,
cozying up to the Mrs. (that’s right kiddos, Maxed Out is off of the
market. Sorry.) in my finest terry cloth linens and I am set for the
evening. Put on an old episode of Seinfeld or the Cosby Show and
bliss has been achieved.

Beers not to have before hitting the hay: Any of your Coors, Miller,
Bud, Hefs…. Anything with a lot of wheat or corn. The reason? Gives
ya the toots! Stick to the good stuff kiddos, that’s what I’ve been
saying since day one.

Ok, so this has probably been the most juvenile and LAME Maxed Out
ever. I have written you all a really good insight on the shipping of
craft beer but ran out of time due to the extensive research that I
have been doing. I have also been on the lookout for the next beer on
my top 10 but have yet to receive confirmation on its exact release
date. Stay tuned. I will, however, let you know that it is a porter
from a San Diego-based brewery and that it should be released sooner
rather than later. At least that’s what I’ve been told.

Until next time my beer loving brethren, have a beer for me.

(ed. note: did we not tell you the kid could offer up advice both practical and aesthetic?)


Suburbanbanshee said...

While a beer before bedtime is very historical, the real problem with drinking whisky is that, if you don't fall asleep right away, you will probably wake up afterward, or in the middle of the night. Whisky/whiskey/Scotch is more stimulating than not.

Of course, maybe that's just the Irish and Scots-Irish in me.

Foxfier said...

-5 points for failing to complement your lady of love, in spite of having several good chances to do so-- say, "stick with the good stuff (See above, off the market.)"

B-Daddy said...

My unfortunate experience is that stouts and porters have too much sugar from the carmelization of the roasted barley, so I have trouble sleeping after drinking them. Hate to be a kill joy, but water is the best thing before bed, better than milk, even.

BTW, ever had any offerings from Palmetto or Highland breweries in the Carolinas? Had some this week and thought they did a creditable job.

Maxed Out said...

Suburban - To each their own. I find that the hard stuff so late at night tends to give me something I like to call a hangover the next day. A nice stout is like having a slice of chocolate cake that gives ya a buzz. Yum!
Firefox - Not really sure whatcho talkin' bout. *confused look*
And O' Captain, My Captain. COME ON BRIAN! Did you just say that the best thing before bed is water as a comment on my beer blog!?!!?! You're absolutely killing me. There's a little line I like to say on occasion... "Beer is made up of 95% water." I got your water right there, babe. Oh, and I have not had Palmetto or Highland. I'll have to keep my eyes peeled. Thanks for the tip.

Foxfier said...

Just poking humor at the missed chances to lay flattery on with a trowel. ^.^

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