Thursday, May 17, 2012

The Beers with Demo Caucus springs into action


But first, Chuckie Schumer outrageously outraged over the fact one of the Facebook co-founders skipped the country to avoid paying capital gains taxes.

Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., has a status update for Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin: Stop attempting to dodge your taxes by renouncing your U.S. citizenship or never come to back to the U.S. again.

In September 2011, Saverin relinquished his U.S. citizenship before the company announced its planned initial public offering of stock, which will debut this week. The move was likely a financial one, as he owns an estimated 4 percent of Facebook and stands to make $4 billion when the company goes public. Saverin would reap the benefit of tax savings by becoming a permanent resident of Singapore, which levies no capital gains taxes.

At a news conference this morning, Sens. Schumer and Bob Casey, D-Pa., will unveil the “Ex-PATRIOT” – “Expatriation Prevention by Abolishing Tax-Related Incentives for Offshore Tenancy” – Act to respond directly to Saverin’s move, which they dub a “scheme” that would “help him duck up to $67 million in taxes.”

The senators will call Saverin’s move an “outrage” and will outline their plan to re-impose taxes on expatriates like Saverin even after they flee the United States and take up residence in a foreign country. Their proposal would also impose a mandatory 30 percent tax on the capital gains of anybody who renounces their U.S. citizenship.

The plan would bar individuals like Saverin from ever reentering the United States again.
(italics, ours)

Good god, man. The tortured, pretzel twisting vocabulary of it all to come up with verbage that somehow relates to the legislation's acronym. Or is it the other way around? Who knows - damn our head hurts.

But alas, we went into the bunker of the Beers with Demo caucus to come up with appropriately-named legislative responses to what we see as objectionable and/or unserious Acts.

So in response to the honorable Senator Schumer we offer up: DIPSHIT

The Democrats Introducing Phaux Serious Hysteria If Tempted Act.

Fed up with over-regulation which is choking out jobs in this country?: HACK

The Harming America with Crappy Kontrols Act

Frustrated with the Senate's inability to pass a budget? We've got an Act for that: IDIOT

The Idle Democrats In Opposition to Timeliness Act

Want to break-down restrictions on home-schooling, vouchers and charter schools?: DOPE

Democrats Opposed to Private Education

Want to shut down the completely counterproductive yet hard-to-kill ethanol lobby?: ASSHAT

Attempting to Stop Subsidized Hackery All the Time Act

And finally, we have our own BUFFETT Rule:

Budget Unsavoriness not Fixed From Excessive Top-end Taxes

Man, this is fun and a lot easier than we thought it would be.

Hey, give it a shot and help out the Beers with Demo legislative caucus in coming up with similarly inane and mildly offensive legislative acronyms.



drozz said...

that's a penalty, not a tax.

Dean said...

TAPNAT. Nice work, drozz.

Doo Doo Econ said...

Added #NameThatBill to twitter!/search/%23NameThatBill