Smack of the day

Ordinarily, we would just link you to the piece right away but we decided to cut'n'paste first vast swaths of his verbage because it's just too doggone important. Besides, we don't trust you.

But Congressman Weiner then retreated from the sinister hacking line, and protested that all this fuss about a mere “prank” involving a “randy photo” (his words) was an “unfortunate distraction” from real issues like raising the debt ceiling. Like Bill Clinton in the Nineties, Rep Weiner needs to “get back to work for the American people.”

It’s the political class doing all this relentless “work for the American people” that’s turned this country into the brokest nation in the history of the planet, killed the American Dream, and left the American people headed for a future poised somewhere between the Weimar Republic and Mad Max. So, if it’s a choice between politicians getting back to work for the American people or tweeting their privates round the planet, I say, tweet on, MacDuff. Tough on our young college ladies. But, as Queen Victoria advised her daughter on her wedding night, lie back and think of England. Download and think of America.

. . .

Between Occam’s Razor (it’s Weiner’s junk, and he tweeted it) and Occam’s Lip-Syncher (the ghost-tweeter did it) lies a third possibility — that the tweets aren’t by Weiner but the Twitpic crotch shot to the cute co-ed is. The republic’s “citizen-legislators” do hardly anything for themselves these days, starting with reading the thousand-page legislation they cheerily pass, but if they can’t even perform their own sex scandals there really is no point to them. For the last quarter of 2010, Weiner listed 19 staffers, a few with highly specific job descriptions (“Deputy Director of Immigration Affairs”) but most with the kind of blandly nebulous titles (“Staff Assistant”) that could cover almost anything, including in-house ghost-tweeting. For the sake of argument, let us take it as read that American men are e-mailing their genitals across the fruited plain all day long, and that in the nature of these things one or two attachments go awry and wind up in the inbox of the elderly spinster who runs the quilting bee and you have to make a rather sheepish apology. Congressmen are among the few in this land who, in such a situation, can breezily say, as Weiner did to CNN’s Dana Bash, “You have statements that my office has put out.” Herein lies the full horror of American politics in the death throes of the republic: A congressman has nothing better to do of an evening than tweet his crotch to coeds, but he requires an “office” with “staffers” to “put out” “statements” on the subject.


When Weiners have staffers, it’s very difficult to have limited government: You cannot have a small state run by big Weiners. If you require an “office” to issue “statements” about your tweets, it’s hardly surprising you’re indifferent to statist bloat elsewhere.

Let's see... P.J. O'Rourke, Iowahawk and Mark Steyn. Yeah, that about covers it.

Of mosques, hate speech and gay bars

Greg Gutfeld's plans to build a gay bar adjacent to the Ground Zero mosque (Al Gayda? The Velvet Sword? Sharia Spa?) as a way to build a bridge to understanding with the Muslim community that is, we understand, somewhat hostile to homosexuals, brought this reaction from Megan McArdle:

This is kind of a jerk move. But it's a brilliant jerk move. I am hoping that at least one person will attempt to explain why we should support the mosque near Ground Zero, but not the gay bar next to the mosque near Ground Zero. I would find that very entertaining.

Indeed. After all the lecturing and tut-tutting the left has been doing with regard to center-right Nation's horrified response to the mosque proposal, it's time to turn the tables.

(For the record: though we believe building this mosque there is strictly an act of provocation and an incredibly insensitive one at that, we can see no legal standing to prevent them from building it there)

And McCardle gets her "one person".

The Ground Zero mosque spokesperson tweeted Gutfeld the following:

You're free to open whatever you like. If you won't consider the sensibilities of Muslims, you're not going to build dialog

Well, that's certainly a matter of opinion, now isn't it, champ? Just consider this a lesson in that whole American freedom and liberty thing cutting both ways.

But Gutfeld's gay bar got us to thinking about offensive/hate speech and actions. In some places, what Gutfeld is attempting to do, would get him frog-marched to in front of some civil rights commission (think Canada or parts of Northern Europe) but that's not what we do here.

In one of our posts regarding free speech in America, we talked about what constitutes hate speech and how, because we view free speech in this country much differently than other countries, the bar for hate speech is set much higher:

Precisely because the bar is set higher, the legitimization of hate speech is much more infrequent. Rather than officially recognize alleged hate speech in courts of law, the rantings of say, a Jeremiah Wright or the suggestions by Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson that the acceptance of homosexuality in this country was, in part, responsible for 9-11, it is instead held up for public scorn, ridicule and mocking…. as it should. The question of legitimacy is taken off the table and in fact, it is viewed not as court-defined “hate speech” but rather, “illegitimate speech.” In other words, speech that is outside the legitimate circle of polite and civil discourse.

We will not take you to court, we will, however, make fun of you and then simply ignore you.

And this is what Gutfeld is doing. He has turned the tables on the mosque builders. He is gutting (no pun intended) the spiteful intent of these people with mockery and satire. He is de-legitimizing the mosque with this brilliant Alinsky-like tactic.

There is a parallel here and it occurred just 3 years ago in the same city:

A perfect case-in-point for this is the Iranian mad-bomber, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, who came to New York last year to make a number of speeches and appearances. We understood the calls for banning and/or boycotting his speeches but we generally came down on the side of letting the man speak knowing that the true Mahmoud would reveal himself and sho’nuff, the raving lunatic, homophobe and anti-semite we knew him to be did not disappoint.

Despite the serious nature of what he said, we mocked and ridiculed the guy, essentially turning Ahmedinejad into a late-night punch line effectively neutering and delegitimizing his message.

This is part of American exceptionalism so bring it on. Instead of cowering in a corner or behaving like a bunch of humour-less, politically correct, Euro-scolds, Gutfeld has embraced his inner wild, wild West(ern civilization) and is fighting this fight on his terms.

America: where freedom and fun happens.

Jesus is coming.... look busy

A naval interceptor rocket accidentally targeted and blew up the returning Jesus Christ during a morning test over the Pacific, setting off some kind of retaliatory offensive by the host of heaven.


General Jason Gruntsworthy, head of the Anti-ballistic Missile Shield program, declined comment at first, then said "God, what a mess."


“On our screens, Jesus looked suspiciously like a Chinese MIRV-9 nucular missile, which is frankly an easy mistake to make. The real surprise is that we actually hit something.”


Following the explosion, burning radioactive pieces of Jesus rained down over a wide area of the western seaboard, causing spot fires and random miracles. NASA has asked that the debris not be touched or collected as souvenirs.


While the General described the situation as unfortunate, he remained optimistic. “We do apologize for the collateral and spiritual damage this has caused, but we would like to point out that in the War on Terror, you can't take risks. And hey, it finally works!”

More here from the Wittenburg Door. What the Onion might look like if run by good-humored descendants of long-haired Jesus types. Joe Bob Briggs, the host of the now-defunct, MonsterVision (the Mystery Science Theater 3000 for the trailer park set) is a contributor.