“What happened to all the nice guys?” His answer: “You did. You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy.” Women, he says, are actually not attracted to men who hold doors for them, give them hinted-for Christmas gifts, or listen to their sorrows. Such a man, our Recovering Nice Guy continues, probably “came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.”
And KT has a good read on the continued emasculation of the gruffer sex, here.
A couple years back, we were at a birthday dinner party at a nice restaurant in Point Loma with Mongo and six or seven women when the subject of “man dates” came up. Us: “Mandates…? Bad news. The government needs to get out of the business of establishing qualitative quotas that run counter to the efficiency of the market and which further may inhibit competition…” Blank stares all around.
“No, moron – ‘man dates’”
“Huh?” An apparent cultural phenomena has swept past us unnoticed.
“Yeah, the latest thing is for guys to take a break from their hectic schedule to get together at a nice restaurant and catch up with each other.”
“Catch up on what?”
“You’re hopeless.”
“Listen, if we’re going to plunk down coin at a nice restaurant in order to ‘catch up’, it’s damn sure going to be with someone better looking than Mongo.”
But to assuage any doubters out there that your humble bloggers aren’t hip to late-breaking social trends, we dug out a picture laying out the scene of what may have qualified as our latest ‘man date’ at P.B. Bar and Grill on a college football Saturday earlier this month.
And more to the point, though, of the linked article that goes on about muddled gender identities and thus muddled gender dating roles and expectations, we wish to assure everyone, we aren’t confused, we’re just inept.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The sadly obligatory "modern dating scene" post
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5 comments:
Ah, yes. And in the grand tradition of unfeeling real men, I continually left my man "date" at the table occupied with pictured nachos and SC-Wazzu, and went and hit on the coed checking out the Georgia Bulldogs on TV a few tables away.
Masculinity secured.
- Mongo Wondering Why BwD Took All The Chips With Cheese on Them
Dean,
If there has to be a "man date" then we should mandate fare like the ribs pictured in your previous post.
Man dates? Bah Humbug! Give me a room full of beer drinking men enjoying a football game. The loud voices, the appreciative nods and grunts when an older buxom blonde serves them some nosh to go with their beer.
Unfortunately, I agree that women are reaping what they sow. I cannot say I always went for the bad boys when I was dating but there were enough. The last bad boy I was with beat and almost killed me. I married the good guy and I do not take it for granted. He was not the second choice or someone I fell back on after a bad experience. I simply became wiser toward the end of my twenties.
I will not lie and say I am always the perfect wife but here’s the deal. I love packing his lunch, listening to his bad day at the office, waiting on him and his friends in a respectful loving manner making it obvious who is in charge. I do not mind telling sales people or my friends that I have to check with my husband before I purchase something or make some plans that affect my family. I will muster up the energy if I am tired and my husband is giving me the special look, (I will even put on something sexy). My body does not just belong to me it belongs to my spouse. The simple truth is that I enjoy being a woman and enjoy being treated as such. If more women would show this kind of respect to their men they would be astounded at the treatment they receive in turn.
Don't look at me, I was the classic hopelessly-in-love-but-wanted-him-to-be-happy type person.
Thank goodness Elfie kissed me, or I'd have spent a lot of effort hooking him up with a cute Japanese girl.
There's decent guys, and decent girls; a lot of them become lesser to "catch" someone is this...really freaky warped "market."
After 46 years, many of them living in unspeakably horrible situations, I have someone like tigerlilly and foxfier.
I worship her.
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