Coming to a neighborhood near you

Buried in Senator Ted Kennedy’s now-615 page health care bill resides the following regarding the outline of the “Community Transformation Plans”:

“Activities within the plan shall focus on (but not be limited to)— (i) creating healthier school environments, including increasing healthy food options, physical activity opportunities, promotion of healthy lifestyle and prevention curricula, and activities to prevent chronic diseases;

“(ii) creating the infrastructure to support active living and access to nutritious foods in a safe environment;

“(iii) developing and promoting programs targeting a variety of age levels to increase access to nutrition, physical activity and smoking cessation, enhance safety in a community, or address any other chronic disease priority area identified by the grantee.”

And then those groups that qualify to carry out the above must monitor their respective community’s progress with respect to weight loss, physical activity and eating habits.

“In carrying out subparagraph A [the transformation plan], the eligible entity shall, with respect to residents in the community, measure – (i) decreases in weight; (ii) increases in proper nutrition; (iii) increases in physical activity; (iv) decreases in tobacco use prevalence,” as well as “ other factors as determined by the Secretary [of Health and Human Services].”

The community transformers will then report back to their superiors on the progress their neighborhood is making and then develop plans and training courses so that these transformation goals can be implemented elsewhere.

Sounds pretty scary, doesn’t it? Sounds like yet another incursion into your personal matters, huh? Also sounds like the biggest, fluffiest pile of hooey we’ve read since porkulus.

Look, this sword cuts both ways. To the positive, the practical effects of these provisions will be nil – no one will really be monitoring or promoting healthy lifestyles outside of perhaps some PSAs, billboards (hey, maybe Joe Camel can be transformed to a symbol of good rather than evil) and maybe a “health monitor” at the local elementary school if you happen to live in a crappy school district because (to the negative) this is just another payoff to political allies, pure and simple. How could language this vague yet grandiose be anything but.

Nice work if you can get it, though, huh?