Thursday, October 27, 2011

MAXED OUT: What's so "great" about it?

Proving that in the world of microbrews, there are no sacred cows...

Welcome back to the Sandlot, you silly sons-a-men and women. Thanks for stopping by for another diatribe from yours truly. I’m going to
keep this week’s banter to a minimum so you can do some homework!
YAY! I know how much you’ve all been dying to get back to the grind
with the old h-dub. It’s not really homework, nor is it a
requirement, it’s just more for your own personal gain. Ok, enough
dilly-dally, let’s get to this week’s topic.

The Great American Beer Fest or GABF as we in the beer biz know it,
is a four day festival held in Denver every year celebrating the best
that America has to offer in craft beer (and other.) So I really only
have one bone to pick with the GABF; WHY ARE THERE 84
That’s right, 84 freakin’ categories.

An example of why I don’t like the GABF: Pabst Brewing Co. won more
medals than Alesmith (2) and Alpine (0) combined. I’m sorry, could
you repeat that?!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Holy crap in a can!
That’s right, Pabst Brewing won 4 medals. FOUR!!!! I’m sorry, but if Pabst wins that many medals… wait…. No…. if Pabst wins any medals, you may just have too many categories. Just sayin’. Also, Alesmith IPA won an award for American-Style Strong Pale. No, that’s an IPA. THAT’S AN IPA!!!!! Holy crap in a can Batman! Oh, and my favorite (least favorite) thing that happened is that the Imperial IPA from
Epic Brewing won the silver medal for the Imperial IPA category. Oh,
why is that my favorite thing that happened? THEY ARE FROM UTAH!!!!!!
UTAH!!!! Wait, let it sink in. UTAH!!!!!!! HOLY S*#@!!!!! Not crap in a can, S*#@!!!! Sorry Dean! It just needed to be said.

Highlights consist of Port Brewing winning over 20 medals. That’s all.

Here is the full list of winners.

Check it out and let me know what you guys think. By the by, a
brewery from UTAH won the best Imperial IPA category. UTAH!!!! Was a
bus driver from China judging this category? Too soon? Too soon?

Until the next time my beer loving brethren, have a beer for me.

ed. note: If Pabst wins any medals, the problem isn't the number of categories, rather you have a definite problem figuring out what is and isn't good beer. GABF disgraced themselves. Never should have happened. Never.


SarahB said...

OK, even I know Pabst is the stuff of college frat house budgets. Sort of like Hersey winning awards for chocolate.

Maxed Out said...

Well put Sarah. I will back it up by saying that it was Pabst Brewing that won the awards and not the actual Pabst Blue Ribbon, however it is very much like Hersey winning an award for chocolate. Well played.