Thursday, December 6, 2007

Beijing '08 Olympics Update


(One in an occasional series provided during the run-up to the ’08 Summer Games in Beijing, China. Archived posts in this series can be accessed by entering “Olympics” in the search box above).

You all have to read this article from Yahoo! Sports. In a word: hilarious. As China preps for the Olympics they’re whipping everybody into shape by holding cheering practices, urging decorum and trying their darndest to stamp-out all those English mis-translations on business signs and billboards.

And giving due credit, we were led to this article by 100% Injury Rate via Deadspin. Yes, That Deadspin… Father, it was them….it was they who stripped us of our blog-reading virginity.

The Cheering Program is sponsored by something called the “Beijing Civilized Workers Cheering Squad”. Just what is it about Communism that compels the addition of unnecessary adjectives to slogans and titles?

This cheering program is like the Texas A&M yell practice on Friday evenings….. but instead of a campus of 15,000 it’s one wound-up, eager-to-please, ain’t-nuthin’-gonna-stop-us nation of 1,000,000,000 (1 bil) people prodded by their Chi-Com overseers to make the entire country look somewhat less dreary and oppressed than it really is.


And this from the article: "Shouting obscenities at opposing players is common in Chinese soccer, which has been plagued with match-fixing scandals and on-field fighting. Beijing's top club team, Guo'an, plays at the Feng Tai stadium, which is draped with huge signs urging good behavior." Just how this differentiates Chinese soccer from soccer anywhere else on the planet was not explained.

By this article’s account, China’s efforts to make us really think they’re part of the gang is a bit off-putting. Its creepily analogous to how middle-aged moms and dads read books in an attempt to “relate” to their kids. Its as if China went out and bought “Getting Hip Y’All to the West” and “Using Awkward State-Approved Language to Connect with Your Inner Def Homie-Boy” and “Will they Accept Me?: the story of a young Socialist and her experiences at the Glorious (coed) People’s Olympic Athlete Village (of coeds)”.

As we’ve said all along, we cannot wait for these games. Add the unintentional comedy factor to the list of reasons why.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

No doubt the trains will run on time.
Mussolini

B-Daddy said...

Dean,
Over at 100% Injury Rate they have an hysterical article about Italian soccer star Pasqualle Foggia ordering up a mafia hit on a team mate with whom he had traded insults. So excellent question asking how is Chinese soccer any different?

Anonymous said...

Be prepared for a lot of linking of China between now and 2008 with the current slaughter in Darfur -- and a lot effort by China to cover over the link as much as possible. Overriding vetos in the UN Security Council on Sudan is about to come home to roost.

Various organizations have already tabbed it "The Holocaust Olympics".

Mongo