MAXED OUT: 8 beers a week

Hey, what can we say - last month's time change has everything a little screwy so we're bumping MAXED OUT back to its original Thursday afty time slot. We're slaves to ratings - sue us!

A good day to you all my hop loving heroes, and what a magical day it is! I’m in a good mood and feel like sharing some delightful tales of the hop vine with you. This week, I’m going to tell you what beer to drink Monday through Sunday, and while some of you are 9-5ers and some of you have random schedules, I probably have the best/worst schedule out of everyone on this forum as I work until midnight most nights, but how I’m going to work this in on a standard 9-5, Monday thru Friday schedule. So, adjust accordingly, you crazy kids. Let’s rock this Casbah!



MONDAY

Let’s face it, Mondays suck. You just got back from Vegas, hung out with the wife and kids all weekend, partied till 3 a.m. or just did chores all weekend, but it never fails. They’re called the Mondays for a reason. For this reason, I recommend a beer that will kick you in your teeth, something with high alcohol content and one that won’t take it easy on your pallet as the day most certainly hasn’t taken it easy on your nerves. How about a Barleywine? Yes, this is a style of beer despite its name. It is a big (typically between 10 & 15% ABV) beer, often sweeter on the spectrum of beers and typically has fruity notes. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing sweet about this beer when it comes to being a cuddly little hop friend. Typically, amberish in color and can often be cellared for years and tends to age very well. This is a beer for after dinner, after the dishes are done, the kiddies are in bed and you’re laid back in your Lay-Z-Boy, feet up and Letterman is on the boob tube. My personal favorite is Old Numbskull from Alesmith Bewery, an 11%er with caramel notes and a yeasty mouth feel. Most Barleywines pair well with most fruity desserts, so grab yourself a slice of cheesecake and enjoy this beast of a beer.



TUESDAY

Tuesdays are just those blah days that never seem to go anywhere. Nothing really amazing happens at work, you still have three more days to go before the weekend and everyone is jonesing to get home and see what’s on TV. Booooooring! So, let’s spice things up with a nice Belgian Tripel, shall we? We’ve talked about these beers before, and next week I will be talking about my favorite Tripel, but let’s just go with it. I’m going to go with one of my favorites, La Fin du Monde, a French Canadian beer (yes, the French and Canucks actually did something awesome for once) from Unibroue out of Quebec. At 9% ABV, this beer is spicy, sassy, and delicious. While it is technically a Tripel in style, I have always said that this beer is actually my favorite Blonde out there. Pairs well with a pork and chicken, so I say make yourself some kinda garlic chicken delight, perhaps even Thai. Tuesdays are so meh that I’m not even going to end this paragraph with some witty comment. MOVING ON!




WEDNESDAY

HUMP DAY! Who doesn’t love the day of hump(ing)? It’s half way through your work week and I say it’s time to celebrate with happy hour. Oh, who am I kidding? Every day is cause for happy hour in my opinion. But Wednesday especially. Wednesdays should be the day of Witte beers so you can pound em down and not wake up the next day hating your Thursday. Ommegang Witte would be my recommendation since it’s only 5.1% ABV and rather tasty. Wittes tend to have notes of clove and banana, are smooth and easy drinking. Pairs well with spicy fair so get yourself to some kind of Indian restaurant (dots not feathers) and slam a few of these bad boys while hitting up some Curry. If you live in the Bay Area do yourself a favor and look up Kennedy’s Irish Pub and Curry House as they often have a decent selection of Ommegang and some damn tasty Indian food. WITTE BEER WEDNESDAYS! I’m trade-marking that one, kids. Who’s coming with me?



THURSDAY

One more day to go till the weekend, but haven’t you heard? Thursdays are the new Fridays! Get ready to start your weekend right and knock back a couple of Pale Ales. We don’t want to ruin the rest of the weekend by over doing it, so a lighter version of the IPA is the way to go. Green Flash’s 30th Street Pale Ale is a 6% HOPPY Pale Ale brewed in a delightful San Diego native brewery and is readily available in 6 packs and on draft throughout the county. The IBUs are quite crazy for being a Pale Ale, shooting close to the 90s, which is unprecedented for a Pale Ale. Have I mentioned that this is a Pale Ale? Just take the I out of the IPA and you have yourself a Pale. Pairs well with just about anything, so go grab some din-din with the Mrs./Mr. and have a few Pales for your Thursday night brew. Just do it, don’t ask questions.



FRIDAY

HOPPY FRIDAY! It’s IPA day! Of course I’m going to pick my favorite beer style for my favorite day of the week, silly buns. Grab a Ballast Point Sculpin, Firestone Union Jack, Bear Republic Racer 5…. Just order a damn IPA for god sakes. Heck, make it a pitcher, it’s Friday!



SATURDAY

Pace yourself today, kiddos - it’s a long day and you don’t need to go too crazy too early. Pilsners/Lagers are perfect Saturday beers, whether you’re doing yard work, or down at the pub, Pilsners tend to be lighter on the ABV (3.5-6%) and are very sessionable beers. Samuel Adams Noble Pilsner is a Czech style Pilsner, light, dry crisp and refreshing, and at 4.9% ABV is a very sessionable beer, perfect for a warm summers day at a beach side bar and grill. Pilsners go with just about everything, so grab some oysters on the half shell, a couple fish tacos and take out a 6 pack of these bad boys to get your Saturday off on the right foot. Is it Saturday yet?



SUNDAY

The most bitter-sweet day of the week. Work is just around the corner as you hold on to every last minute of God’s Day, so treat yourself with something good. Just have a few, start early, go big (ABV that is) and finish it off with a night cap (A nice Manhattan up always does the trick for me.) For Sundays, I’m going to go with a Double IPA, maybe make a trip out to Alpine Brewery, get yourself a pulled pork sandwich, fill the growler with Exponential Hoppiness and treat yourself and a friend. At 10.75% ABV, this delicious brew is a perfect way to finish off the weekend in style. Exponential pairs well with ANYTHING because you won’t be able to taste your food after this F-16 bombs your mouth with flavor. But hey, it’s Sunday, God would want you to.


Well, that about wraps up this week’s edition of MAXED OUT! Sorry it’s a day late, I was slacking yesterday and didn’t get it to the Chief in time. Next week will be promptly up at 4:30pm on Thursday, so join me as I get back into my top 10 beers of all time. You guys are awesome, thanks for joining me again and as always feel free to leave a comment or suggestion for a topic I should cover on Facebook, at maxamilliondollars@gmail.com, or in the comment section below.

Until next time my beer loving brethren, have a beer for me.

(ed. note: Sunday, particularly Sunday afternoon growing up as a kid was always filled with a sense of existential dread as we faced down the reality of being sent back to the mental gulag of California's public schools the following day. Perhaps if we were allowed to hammer back a few Exponential Hoppiness bombers, it would've eased this anxiety. We're not condoning under-age drinking. We're just sayin'...

Also, re: "sessionable". We believe what Max means by that term is that you can drink a lot of them, as in, "We plowed through a twelve pack of that stuff in one session.")