First, the bad news: One of this generation's finest political satirists/humorists has cancer.
Now, the good news: This form has a 95% survival rate… for the victim, that is.
I looked death in the face. All right, I didn't. I glimpsed him in a crowd. I've been diagnosed with cancer, of a very treatable kind. I'm told I have a 95% chance of survival. Come to think of it -- as a drinking, smoking, saturated-fat hound -- my chance of survival has been improved by cancer.
.
.
I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one wear it? And what slogan is apropos? Perhaps that slogan can be sewn in needlepoint around the ruffle on a cover for my embarrassing little doughnut buttocks pillow.
Furthermore, I am a logical, sensible, pragmatic Republican, and my diagnosis came just weeks after Teddy Kennedy's. That he should have cancer of the brain, and I should have cancer of the ass ... well, I'll say a rosary for him and hope he has a laugh at me. After all, what would I do, ask God for a more dignified cancer? Pancreatic? Liver? Lung?
More brilliance from our leading literary influence, P.J. O’Rourke, here.
Good luck, P.J.
H/T: Libertarian Republican
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
We're so unprepared for this
Posted by Dean at 9/30/2008 04:17:00 PM
Labels: brain cancer, cancer, P.J. O'Rourke, Ted Kennedy
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2 comments:
Perspective, very nice.
Dawg
I read that, too. I was sorry to hear about it, but he's pretty lucky considering the dissolute life he's led. I've been wondering if he has lost some IQ points in recent years as well. I love the guy, but booze and drugs aren't good for the brain.
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